Longing for His Return

We were reunited with Nathan once again this past week and, as always, it was so sweet.  It is amazing to me, that the only hurt that is cured immediately is that of missing someone.  When you are separated from the one that you are "one" with, as I often am, it is such an intense feeling of longing, really one that is inexplicable unless you have experienced it yourself.  But once they are back, from the moment you receive that first hug upon their return, it's over...you no longer miss them, because you can't...you are in each other's presence, face to face, and nothing can remove the joy of that moment.  It, in a very real sense, is a small glimpse of the glory to come.

As Christians, we are never truly alone, the Holy Spirit dwells within us, and we have God the Father's and Christ's many promises throughout the scriptures that "I am with you,". It is made apparent through countless works of grace we experience everyday, both big and small, that only a God that is with us each passing moment could orchestrate our lives so beautifully, even in the bad things.  We have ever present help from a loving Heavenly Father, the finished work of Christ on the cross, and the Holy Spirit who is ever conforming us into the likeness of Christ, yet we struggle!  We doubt that God really loves us when trials arise, or when our blessings don't come when we think they should.  We struggle to believe that He is sovereign and working all things together for our good and His glory when we see a dying, depraved, sin-loving world around us.  This life we live is hard.  We are stuck in this already-not-yet phase of redemption where our sins have already been paid for and we are blameless as we stand in Christ's righteousness before God, yet we live in a sinful world and battle with the sin that still lives in our own hearts moment to moment.  We yearn for the unity that has already been promised, but not yet accomplished.

I have often thought about what it will be like to enter God's presence, either when Christ returns or when I die.  I have wondered if I will miss this earth, the people I love that are still alive on it, or all the things I didn't do while alive here.  After yet another reunion with the man I love, I can tell you without hesitation that the answer is NO.  The bliss we will experience when reunited with the One that our souls long for above all else will be unmatched by anything that has been experienced on earth.  All of the desires of our heart will be satisfied, and we will realize the full power of Christ's "It is finished."  Regardless of the blessings enjoyed here, the joy of being in perfect unity with God will so outshine them that they will be less than a drop added to a vast ocean in comparison.  We will long for NOTHING!

And every reunion we experience as a family only makes me long for that greater and final reunion even more...

"Creation longs for His return, when Christ will reign upon the earth; the bitter wars that rage, are birth pains of a coming age.  When he renews the land and sky, all heaven will sing and earth reply, with one resplendent theme: the glories of our God and King." Keith and Kristen Getty

It's a BOY!

We are so excited to announce that the sweet baby growing inside me is a BOY!  This was the first ultrasound that Nathan didn't get to go to, so we were a little bummed about that, but also very thankful that I had time to text him before his ship went out of cell phone range!  Then I went to the store to get all the blue things I could find to surprise the kids with...I think I may have had more fun with it than they did, but that's okay. :)

Here are a few pics of the surprise!




Impatiently waiting. Zach is squinting just like his dad would be...apparently overcast is just too bright...LOL.






I love the look of joy on Zach's face here! He was absolutely sure it was a boy from the very beginning.









There they go! (I had extra balloons hidden in the van because I knew they would be sad about "losing" their balloons.)




Exploring some of the other blue goodies I picked out for them.  In case you're curious, the kazoos and chocolates were by far the favorite goodies...and the balloons of course!

Thank you to everyone who is sharing in our excitement.  We can't wait to meet our new little man, to watch Lydia learn to be a big sister, and to experience all the joys that adding another child to our home will bring.  We are so thankful to the Lord for our growing family!

Up, Up....and Not Really Away:)

Today we did something special together as a family.  We realized recently that we have very few memories of our time in San Diego so far where all of us are present.  We want us and our children to have positive memories of this period of our lives, other than the idea that "Daddy is never home."  In recent months his ship has barely been in port, and when it has been, he has rarely been home before dark.  He is getting ready to be gone again for a significant period of time, so we decided now would be a good time to do something that together that the kids will be talking about for a long time and take lots of pictures for them to hold on to when they miss their daddy the most.

A little over a week ago, a friend and I took our children to the Safari Park to see "the butterflies".  Every spring they import thousand of butterflies and put them in a greenhouse for people to walk through.  It only lasts a couple of weeks, so we opted to go even though Nathan wasn't home.  While we were there, we saw the huge helium balloon ride that takes you up 400ft in the air to allow you to view the entirety of the park, as well as the surrounding landscape.  I was a little apprehensive about the kids being scared of being up so high, but it was so reasonably priced (2/3 of our children were free), that I pitched the idea to Nathan anyway.  He thought it sounded great, so today we made it happen!




Waiting for it to be our turn while we ate lunch...it's really hard to tell how big it is, but the basket is about 15-20 feet across.




A better view of the basket, we loved that it had birds on the bottom!




Baby-wearing on a balloon ride!:)







A different perspective on the wildlife...




And some great views of the surrounding area.




Looking up.






Everyone was very happy to have gone up!




And especially to have gone with Nathan.:)

Seven Years and Counting...

Nathan and I recently celebrated our seven year anniversary!  On one hand it seems like it cannot possibly have been that long, and on the other, it get's harder and harder for us to remember what it feels like to not be married.  When we think back on all that we have been through together on this short journey together, we are amazed and so thankful for all that God has done, and is still doing, in our lives.  We have four children, have relocated twice, and have made countless relationships that would have never existed were we not married.

The last year or so has been the hardest year for us as a couple.  We have been apart much more than we have been together, and Nathan has spent more nights away from our home than in it.  In the midst of this time, I have had a tendency to think that in the future, this time in our marriage would be viewed as the lowest point.  I thought that we wouldn't be able to look back on this time with any fondness, but that it would be a waste of a year, a year spent suffering, rather than being together.  And while we have suffered, cried, and missed each other terribly, it has not been a waste.

The hardest things about being apart are loneliness and communication.

The loneliness has caused us both to be drawn closer to Christ and, in turn, closer to each other.  The thing about being alone, is that the only cure is to be together, and the only person you are able to have constant togetherness with is God.  He is ever present, ever available, and never tires of your prayers and yearning for Him.  He is the only person you never have to miss (although we do in a way because we aren't fully with Him as we will be one day) because, if you are in Christ, He has sent the Holy Spirit to live in you.

You may not realize it if you are always together, but there are so many ways that you are able to communicate with your spouse when you are with them in person.  When you are apart, assuming you do have contact, it's only verbal, and that is usually few and far between.  This is often painful, but the Lord has taught us how to communicate much more efficiently.  He has exposed ways that we sin against each other that we might not have noticed otherwise.  He has led us to ask forgiveness, and to forgive, more quickly because the reality that we don't know if and when we will speak again is so real to us.  We have learned to truly cherish the time that we do have together, and to love each other better during it.  We have learned patience, trust, and sacrificing for one another in very unique ways.  We still don't do all or any of this perfectly, but we do it better.  This has been a time that our marriage has been refined by fire and has come out stronger than ever before.

We will be very thankful when this season of frequent goodbyes is over, but when Nathan and I try to think of the steps that brought us to this season that we might change if we could...we can think of none.  God has used this past year for His glory and our good and has seen fit to make that plain to us.  We are so grateful to have a marriage that is rooted in Christ and that we are each being made more like Him as time goes on.

Guess What?

For those of you who haven't already heard the big news, we recently found out that we are pregnant with Baby #4! I realize that I could've just as easily posted this as my Facebook status to get the news out, but I thought I would write a post to answer a few inevitable questions.

1)Were you surprised?

Answer: This is always an obvious "yes" and "no".

Yes, because no one gets to choose when God will create a new baby inside of them, He is the author of life and no one else, so yes, we were pleasantly surprised to find He has chosen to bless us again in this way!

No, because anytime you are doing what married people do (whether you are actually married or not) you have no real reason to ever be surprised...that's just how it works!

Which leads me to the next question...

2)You know how this happens right?

Answer: Seriously, this is rude, and you should never ask this when someone tells you they are pregnant, even (in fact, especially) if they have a lot of children. Just be happy for them!

3)Are you done now?

Answer: We have no idea...and also, kind of rude. It implies that someone has exceeded your "perfect" number of children, which happens to be different for each family. A more appropriate question would be: "Do y'all want to have more children after this?"

Okay, now that I got all of that taken care of...here are some answers to some real questions.

We are looking at an early September due date. We haven't been to the doctor yet, so I don't have a specific due date, that's just an educated guess.

Nathan probably will not be home for the birth.:( This will be the first one he will have missed, and, of course, it makes me sad to think about it, but we are trusting God to work everything out just as He has for all of our other births.

I think that's all for now...we will post information as we get it!