Nathan and I recently celebrated our seven year anniversary! On one hand it seems like it cannot possibly have been that long, and on the other, it get's harder and harder for us to remember what it feels like to not be married. When we think back on all that we have been through together on this short journey together, we are amazed and so thankful for all that God has done, and is still doing, in our lives. We have four children, have relocated twice, and have made countless relationships that would have never existed were we not married.
The last year or so has been the hardest year for us as a couple. We have been apart much more than we have been together, and Nathan has spent more nights away from our home than in it. In the midst of this time, I have had a tendency to think that in the future, this time in our marriage would be viewed as the lowest point. I thought that we wouldn't be able to look back on this time with any fondness, but that it would be a waste of a year, a year spent suffering, rather than being together. And while we have suffered, cried, and missed each other terribly, it has not been a waste.
The hardest things about being apart are loneliness and communication.
The loneliness has caused us both to be drawn closer to Christ and, in turn, closer to each other. The thing about being alone, is that the only cure is to be together, and the only person you are able to have constant togetherness with is God. He is ever present, ever available, and never tires of your prayers and yearning for Him. He is the only person you never have to miss (although we do in a way because we aren't fully with Him as we will be one day) because, if you are in Christ, He has sent the Holy Spirit to live in you.
You may not realize it if you are always together, but there are so many ways that you are able to communicate with your spouse when you are with them in person. When you are apart, assuming you do have contact, it's only verbal, and that is usually few and far between. This is often painful, but the Lord has taught us how to communicate much more efficiently. He has exposed ways that we sin against each other that we might not have noticed otherwise. He has led us to ask forgiveness, and to forgive, more quickly because the reality that we don't know if and when we will speak again is so real to us. We have learned to truly cherish the time that we do have together, and to love each other better during it. We have learned patience, trust, and sacrificing for one another in very unique ways. We still don't do all or any of this perfectly, but we do it better. This has been a time that our marriage has been refined by fire and has come out stronger than ever before.
We will be very thankful when this season of frequent goodbyes is over, but when Nathan and I try to think of the steps that brought us to this season that we might change if we could...we can think of none. God has used this past year for His glory and our good and has seen fit to make that plain to us. We are so grateful to have a marriage that is rooted in Christ and that we are each being made more like Him as time goes on.
